Giving up

Out of so many wishes.... somehow i only waiting for the wishes that come out from your mouth?
is that really that hard? what am i to you?

I try all my might to keep this relationship workout, but somehow.. only me alone who try to work it out. i'm tired.

i starting to giving up for trying..... think what you want.. and get back to me. i ain't gonna do shit anymore. if this really the end then let it be.

at least i tried. i know i give all my best.

what a birthday surprise. . . FML.

Love = Love? or Love = yourself?

Should love = love?
meaning should he or she love you equally the same as how you love them?
should you love yourself more? or your partner?

To me, i love her but i love myself as well, i care about her but on the other hand i do care a lot about myself as well.. so which one i belong to? love her more or myself?

I don't know..
I'm still trying and see how far can i go just for her... but for now she is the only person i care most right after my family and my buddies.

well just random thought of mine, haha..
anyway we presented our fyp already today at 10AM and manage to get the codes works, thank you guys, for these past 13 weeks.. just love you guys "jia le ting" and "wo wei shanny"

Hugs and love

Okay guys, do you guys like to be hug by other?

to tell you i'm totally in love it! i love it, when my dad hug me (of course he soldom do it, in fact he only did it like once?) i feel so secure as if even the whole world collapse he will be there for me,

If i could hug my mom i bet it's going to be nice.. but too bad she is gone but still i still remember i manage to hold her hand before she left us..,

My step-mom? well i love her.. and she hug me like once also, i feel awkward but well i like the feeling, she is the woman that i love and respect most after my mom.

and lastly, my girl.... i feel so good and great when she hug me from the back, (I know what are you guys thinking it's not that "part" okay! haha), It's the feeling, i feel peace, calm, secure and love at the same time.

Question for me,

Kiss or Hugs?

well i'm a greedy person, i want it both! if well. i love to kiss on her forehead and smell her! haha.. it make me feel good(do take note i'm not a pevert okay).

Luck? where are you?

Well this is sooo f***ed up, i lost my phone yesterday.

YES i lost it, and guess how i lost it?

I don't even know, only 2 possiablity:

1.While i'm having something,, you know what i mean. i drop inside the toilet bowl (rate 70%)

2.I drop in the toilet and some lucky brat pick it up (rate 30%) -.-

I was damn screwed, my mom nag+scold+nag+scold again and again on the phone.. well it was really my bad, for not taking a good care of my belongings.

She warn me if i'm lost my phone again, she ain't going to buy for me anymore, YES no more -.-

i got no options left but have to agree with her, and i really feel bad for that.

I been spending too much, way too much already. i should really learn how to save. sigh..

any tips?

so yeah.. forget about the bad thing happen to me.. move on to some good news.

i got myself a blackberry bold. whee yaaa chopp kapow!!.. (i still feel bad okay).

and i'm like an ice age man who trying to use high tech phone, took me almost 6 hours how to use the functions and stuffs -.- ..

to someone.. i miss you badly. i wish i could spend more time with you.

the only thing i want is "Time". more time with you =)

Determinations!

Okay, after months of resting and staying in the comfort zone.

It's time for me to hit to the gym again, yeah! welcome,, for entering the zone of no life again.

i want to get back in shape i been looking like shit recently cause of the mass gainning and my tummy look huge now.

it's time to cut and be big and lean! haha =)) cheers..

Welcome "EF 17-40mm F/4 L"

Welcome to my house lens =)) haha

just got this dope with jeffry at Ms colour, i really hope this lens can serve me well..

If cant suit my shooting style i will just sell it away next month.. so pls pls serve me well k? haha..

Btw i just uploaded my new picture in to my facebook so yeah.. perhaps you guys will be kind enough to click on the link and drop some comment? haha=)

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=7554332&id=514835397&ref=mf

So here by now! i'm telling you guys. everything is solved! my romance life is solve and guess what?

happy endinggg... well it's not really end! but yeah for this chaper is closed.

the new chapter will begin soon, it's a tough and long road i need to face with this person whom i love and i adore most =)

well let's pray hope everything will be fine =)

Song of the day

Sean kingston - fire burning

Stalker? huh? YES! haha

Omg, i can't believe it.

I'm actually stalking this girl from youtube? HUH? YES! i can't believe it! i just did it.

But seriously she got the voice, skill and of course she look cute to me. haha.. I GOTTA stop this lol.. this is my first time and gonna be my last time to stalk someone! haha..

here is the video: enjoy

PS: i found this video in facebook, someone post it. i cant remember who.

Tossing it high and just let it go

Okay, i watch transformer again.... Megan fox is smokinggg hottt! haha okk okk.. i should stop.
so yeah.. sharing time again..

Morrie said:
"Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do"
"Accept the past as past without denying it and discarding it"
"Learn to forgive yourself and forgive others"

Well for me, i tried to follow what morrie said. It's hard to do but i will try and somehow i no longer feel sorry for myself.
Okay as a human being it's alright for you to feel pity on yourself, like you slip the chances in your life, and stuffs. But only for awhile cause you still got a life to lead. I believe you don't want to live in the sorrow right?

So when after you feel sorry for yourself, perhaps shed a few tears. You need to get back on your feet and be ready to get on to your journey.

It's hard to forgive others, But it's even more harder to forgive yourself. so you need to forgive yourself before you learn how to forgive others. I learn it in the hard way, and i realize, i already forgive myself for being such an ass and messed up my life in the past.

I'm trying to lead a new life here :).

It's hard for me but i try to move on now from the past, but it doesn't mean i total forget about the past. The past will still be the past and it will still be a part of my memories. Either is a bad one or good one is my choice. And decided to think it's a good one. life is already hard to lead so what is the point to make it harder? haha..

I don't feel sorry for what i'm now but i'm proud of who i'm now and thinking of what should i do to my life and so on.

Everything is on your hand, it's your own choice ;)

Lost love still love

I just finished my book..
Seriously it's a nice book, "The five people you meet in heaven". i was a bit slow. some of you might have read this book, but well just to share with you guys how i i feel after reading the book =)

it said:
"Lost love still love, it takes a different forms, that's all. You can't see theirs smiles or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken. another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it."

Finally i see it through. It's not really the end of every thing,
It's a lost love but still love, it take different angle to see it. For some might not be able to see it, but eventually you can see it in the end, it take times.
It's not about the out come of the love but it's the process of the love. even though things might not ended up what you want but at least you still have the memories with you.
I know i was loved by you and i love you too, that's enough. Thanks for your love.

just my 2 cents =) hope it make senses.

I'm continue with another book called Tuesday with Morrie, well it written by same writer Mitch albom.

Song of the day
The fray - How to save a life

Free

Don't ask me how and why, i don't even know.

This morning i woke up, i got a very weird feeling. I feel great and happy. it's like everything is solved and my brain prompt me this weird lines
"It's okay to be sad, but there is a limit. if it yours it will be your in the end, let it go. And be happy"
i feel like 10000kg burden has gone with in a night.

But of course that doesn't mean my feeling towards you has gone. it's still remain the same and firm!! and it doesn't mean i give up already. i'm still trying all the best i could to hold you back again.

Ok, school got 18 cases of H1N1. i call my mom(step mom), told her i'm not going to school due to the virus and stuffs and she say okay to me.
seriously i a bit reluctant to go school when my friends told me that school got H1N1 cases. cause i don't like to be quarantine, because its damn bored!

No internet and stuffs! can't be i play "Hide and seek with other patients right?" . lol...

I went to skate park with benedic to take picture of some skater. i got some good picture to share =) hope you guys like it, and as usuall keep the C&C coming in my tag blog.

cheers =)

Song of the day
Susan boyle - I dreamed a dream